We're in the process of moving offices. Not far. About 40yds away, in fact. But as it's an older space that needs a wee bit sprucing up, we started looking around for some inspiration. To see what the Joneses were up to.
As we made some discreet enquiries, it became obvious that some ad agencies have simply stupendous offices. Sleek spaces that whisper an understated elegance. Hip fun factories that double as playrooms. Chic ideas warehouses with exposed pipework and no plaster on the walls.
What should our new space look like? Would Starbucks accept our pop-up barista request? Would there be room for a ball-pit? Which kind of super-cool work environment would spur our creativity to new heights? Before long, we had come up with a list of criteria.
Our minimum office requirements:
1. A desk shaped like a car
We feel we're halfway there with this one, because one of us already owns a car shaped like a desk. We feel an office car-desk is probably like a smartphone: one of those pieces of things that, once you own one, you wonder how you ever managed without it.
2. A self-parking chair
The perfect accompaniment to a car-desk, the self-parking chair frees up precious nano-seconds for creative thinking. Though as it's activated by a hand clap, we'll have to watch out for our regular rounds of self-congratulatory applause.
3. A 49-inch computer monitor that displays a billion colours
We've tried a 48" screen and 900 million colours, and they just don't cut the mustard any more. Have you tried naming a billion colours? It's quite difficult. We could only manage 23.
4. A hot tub
Essential for getting the ideas bubbling. The model shown comes with five gentlemen pre-installed, for extra sports-related talk and office banter. Our Melissa has chosen this specific model.
5. A bass glockenspiel
Let's face it, in these uncertain times, who doesn't need a bass glockenspiel? This chap's got one in what appears to be quite a small office, so we could fit one in ours. Though if that was our office, we would plan better access to the contents of the glass-fronted cabinet.
6. A Bat-Pole
We're all set for this one. Tim already has some scaffolding poles and lard. And Mo has discovered 300 VHS cases that look like books from a distance.
But then we thought...
...nah. Do we need all that stuff? It's just not very Sticky. So instead, we'll make sure a) the chairs are comfy, b) there's room to wander whilst on the phone, and c) there's always coffee on the brew.
And to cover off the super-cool advertising bit, we'll invest in a glowy sign and a second hand dartboard. Done.
For advertising solutions that are more sticky than shiny, contact our ordinary office today.
